Purpose vs. Ego

Two decades ago while I was sitting in a training session for Reading Recovery Teachers the instructor made the following statement, "When we take our eyes off of the task at hand, we allow ego to interrupt the process." She was referring to the task of teaching struggling readers. The process was a scientifically proven process of instruction. She was making a point that if we follow the process that we had chosen to pursue, we would succeed. On the other hand, if we took it upon ourselves to veer from the scientifically proven method we would fail. As severe as it sounded, she was right about that method of teaching. After all, our purpose was to learn Reading Recovery teaching techniques. My focus here, however, is not on Reading Recovery but on the part that ego plays in the failing of one's purpose. I was working in the garden today, blowing leaves, pulling weeds and assessing what survived the winter and what did not. As I blew away the leaves, I made a startling discovery. Just underneath the mulchy, yucky wetness of the fall and winter's combined assortment of leaves and nuts and such, there was a flurry of activity. Juicy fat earthworms, busy centipedes, ants, spiders and some un-names creatures were busy preparing the ground for springs new crop. There was a part that was being played in this drama that I did not and could not, see. Furthermore, it was happening without my help or permission. It was happening because of purpose. The established purpose of this garden is to be a platform for nature's beauty in my yard. Once we establish purpose, things tend to go in the direction of that purpose unless we interfere. This is not to say that we do not play a part. We do. The interference usually manifests as a result of ego. Ego will cause us to interrupt the flow of things, change directions, change the purpose. There are things taking place just below the surface, on our behalf to help fulfill a purpose already established. For some time now, I have known exactly why I was put on this planet. I know how to do what I do. Actually, I am aware that I really do not know how to do what I do but somehow I am pretty good at it. It is extremely fulfilling. My purpose is well established. I am good at it. I love doing it and I am a blessing to others. Recently, I was presented with an opportunity that had nothing to do with my purpose. It was a good thing. It was a virtuous thing. Mostly, it was potentially quite lucrative. It had nothing to do with my purpose. Oh, I could have pulled it off. However, just because we can do something, it does not mean that it is what we should be doing. Especially, if the main motivation is fulfilling some aspect of ego's schemes: I can get this, I can get that, I can look this way, I can be a part of that group. All of these, not evil in themselves, but compared to purpose, are down right diabolical. They interrupt your flow.They change your direction. They create contrary,anxiety-causing, negative energy which confuse every thought and every action. Once I recognized it for what it was, an interruption, my peace was re-established. Things made sense to me again. I got back in the flow of my purpose. In the movie, The Help", the domestic constantly drilled into the little girl, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." She was a type of all loving maids who helped, in the absence of the mothers, to establish a life of purpose in the children. The main character was a type of all children who had been pointed in the direction of purpose, early in life. She chose to embrace and follow her own purposeful path. She was kind, even when it was unpopular. She was smart enough to get the attention of an important publisher for her innovative piece of work. She knew that her life's work was important enough to go against the status quo. Ego tempted her with a life of "social heredity", the right man, the right crowd...etc. However, her purpose had been established; kindness, smarts, importance. She knew what she had to do and the temptations of ego, although present, did not change her course. Success is a direct result of knowing and following purpose. Although, sometimes tedious. Although, long and difficult. Although, there are times when we must stand alone. It is worth it to follow our own life's path. This path is established by purpose. Ego is always present to try and assuage us to go in another direction. We must remain vigilant. We must keep in mind that just below the surface, there is a flurry of activity that we cannot see. Activity that is busy preparing a way for the fulfillment of our purpose. When our purpose is established, the Universe conspires with us to fulfill it. The enemy of purpose is ego. We should be ever vigilant in our pursuit to resist it.

The Greatest Role

Recently, a colleague and I noticed a former student going down the hall of the high school where we teach fine arts classes. This 12th grade girl was noticeably pregnant. We were both horrified. We called the student into the room where we were and began the normal interrogation. ‘How could you have let this happen?” “Didn’t you know better?” “Why did you not protect yourself?” We had spoken to this girl a few months ago. She was so full of hope for her future. She planned to be a physician; a psychologist. We had spoken to her at length about schools and majors and the time that it would take to reach her goals. She knew who she was and who she wanted to become.

As my colleague and I discussed with her the obvious change of plans this beautiful, bright young woman became visibly upset. I began to think that this grilling was not what she needed. She already knew that she had “messed-up”. She was acutely aware that her plans, while not impossible to pursue, would be more difficult to attain at best with a baby in tow. These things she had probably rehearsed in her mind and heart. I searched for something positive to say to her.

Trying to lighten the air, I said, ‘Well although this baby is not what you planned, you do know that she is not a mistake? God has a plan for her life. Your greatest responsibility will be to help her discover why she is here. What is the divine purpose for life.” I went on to share that she will need to make sure that this child is safe and healthy and given opportunities for mental and spiritual growth.

The more I shared with this student the more I realized that this has been my goal with my three twenty-something children. The educational support, the ballet classes, music lessons, karate classes, hand bell and choir concerts, Bible Studies, not to mention the hours spent on the sidelines of soccer games were all in an effort to help them find their purposes. Why were these children placed in my care? What could I do to make certain that they find out what their contribution to the world would be? There is an obvious fine line between exhausting our children with ceaseless activity and providing the exposure they will need in order to have choices in life. This, I believe, is a parents greatest challenge.

The student’s countenance lighted as I shared this slant on motherhood.. She said, “Wow, Ms. Rita, I never heard of that before. Thank you for telling me that.” I felt so much better. I did not want our exchange to leave her feeling any worse than I am sure she already did. I, on the other-hand, am still meditating on what I said to her. I hope I have helped my children find their purposes. I am aware that even though they are all grown-up, I believe my most important role in their lives is to help them discover, why they are here.